In order to be happy, you just need to choose happiness. It really is that simple!
Depending on your personal situation, outlook and beliefs, choosing happiness might seem effortless, extremely hard or anything in between.
Regardless, choosing happiness - or any other emotion - is always possible. Our thoughts create our emotions, and we can always choose our thoughts. Therefore...
We always choose our feelings!
In fact, consciously or unconsciously, you always choose every emotion you feel. So by choosing your thoughts consciously, you take charge of your emotions!
Many of us still live with the perception that our emotions just "happen" in response to to what goes on around us. Although this is a misperception, created and enforced by ego, we create our life experience according to our perceptions. Therefore, if we're unaware of the misperception then we just reinforce our separation from each other and the world around us. And enforcing separation is what ego is all about.
External influences have an effect as well: news and media, movies, television... even music lyrics. So much of it is based on the idea that we have much less influence over ourselves than we actually do.
"I can't help how I feel!"
"She made me feel that way!"
"You made me so sad when you left."
"He made me do it."
"We were forced to take these actions."
How often have you heard someone say something like that? How often have you said something like it yourself?
Well, statements like that simply cannot be true. They are all based on the belief that things outside ourselves have ultimate control over our thoughts, emotions and actions.
Yes, there are many cases where things can influence us to feel or act a certain way... but the final choice is always ours.
For every self-aware, mentally competent person on this planet, the idea that we do not choose what we think, feel and do is a false belief, nothing more. But many still cling to that belief because it's all we know. We don't believe that we can choose happiness; we believe that it all depends on what's happening around us.
It's what we were taught by others because they believed the same thing, and it's what many of us still believe. Much of our world - society, governments, world events; even entertainment and culture - reflects this.
It can also be a way to avoid taking responsibility for our actions... no matter how harmful those actions may be. For example, one of the most common traits of criminal behavior is the tendency to blame outside sources for negative actions. As mentioned above, it's certainly possible for outside sources to influence us. But ultimately it all comes from within.
The idea that nothing "makes" you happy, or unhappy, or anything else, can be hard to accept. The idea that we, and we alone, are responsible for our emotions is often hard to believe. The idea that we choose the emotions we feel at all times sounds even more preposterous. But we do choose - often unconsciously. We choose happiness, or sadness/unhappiness, or anger, or any other emotion or emotional state. No one chooses it for us.
Our thoughts - and therefore our emotional state and actions - become conditioned responses to our environment, based on our beliefs. But even conditioned responses are chosen, unconsciously. If something occurs to "make" us happy, then we unconsciously choose happiness. If not, we unconsciously choose whatever our conditioning selects as the appropriate response.
Start living consciously!
The change comes when we move out of conditioned emotional response and start choosing our emotions consciously. Then, regardless of the situation, we can consciously choose our thoughts - and therefore our emotional state - and act from it.
We begin to live consciously, as opposed to treading more or less mindlessly through life, unconsciously thinking, feeling and acting in response to our environment.
Consider the advantages of conscious living.
Let me give you a simple example: someone cuts you off on the freeway as you're driving to work. For many of us, the conditioned response would be to take it personally and get upset - even fly into a rage - for whatever reason.
"S/he endangered my life! S/he has no idea what courtesy is! S/he shouldn't have a license! What's his/her hurry anyway?"
Does this response make any logical sense? All it does is upset you, raise your stress and anxiety, and bring your energy down. You'll become a big magnet for more negative energy, and you might end up having "one of those days."
What's more, if you continue to allow negative emotions - triggered by your ego - to get the better of you, you'll probably start to drag others down with you.
You might start a "complaining session" at the water cooler or on coffee break, where everyone vents about something that's annoying them. Do you notice how often this happens? It may not seem like much, but the truth is that it's toxic.
It perpetuates negative energy and, believe it or not, it provides fuel for more and more negative events to take place in the future. (See below.)
Choose a positive response - choose happiness!
If you choose to respond to the erratic freeway driver with a positive attitude and a level head, you invite further positive energy into your life. You can look at things objectively.
Of course, if the driver appears to be impaired in any way you can alert the proper authorities. But if he or she is just driving irresponsibly, it's probably just the antics of ego. It might be some emergency that you don't know about. Again, if the driver appears to be impaired or in some kind of distress, then by all means contact authorities.
If not, choose happiness. Choose to respond with compassion. Give the driver lots of space and let him or her go. If you feel annoyance, that's okay - don't repress it. Allow it to flow through you, and take some deep breaths. You'll feel much better. As you begin to relax, send positive energy and light to the other driver and you'll feel your annoyance dissolve as it's replaced by happiness.
We can always choose happiness... but we have to want it!
Often, we have been living unconsciously for so long that choosing happiness seems like an impossible task. In some cases, our egos try to keep us unhappy because we receive some perceived benefit from it. Have you ever met a "self-described hard-luck case"? This is someone who always seems to have something to complain about; some disaster, ailment or other dramatic situation, big or small, to tell everyone about.
Sometimes a person will behave like this because of the attention and sympathy s/he gets from it. The attention is a perceived benefit... so, unconsciously his/her mind will continue to create "hard luck" situations in order to gain further attention and sympathy. This can even go beyond external events and affect the person physically as well. Ailments, illness, disease, hypochondria and other physical issues can be traced back to a psychological source in many cases.
In other words, a person will sometimes subconsciously create poor health because, at some level, s/he gains some benefit from it. The suggestion that s/he can choose happiness may be rejected. On the surface his or her response might be something like, "I could never be happy. Look at my situation. How could I be happy?"
But underneath, his or her conditioned mind/ego says, "I get a lot of attention and sympathy from this behavior. It might be killing me, but the attention and sympathy still makes me feel loved."
Negative behavior like this is toxic. It can affect others, and it does. It feeds on itself, and it grows. And it certainly affects the person who creates it within themselves! But we all choose happiness, and everything else, ourselves. No one can choose it for us. Ultimately, a person must want to change before s/he can or will change.
Learning to choose happiness can seem like "work"... but it's more than worth it!
At first, moving your energy to higher levels can take concentration. Simply be aware of your thoughts, and go easy on yourself. Don't get upset or beat yourself up if you find yourself slipping back into old ways of thinking. Notice and acknowledge it, and then gently return yourself to positive thoughts. You'll find that the more you do this, the easier it gets. Eventually, happiness becomes a habit.
Although we ultimately choose happiness ourselves, there are still many things that can enhance our happiness. To help yourself along, do things that "make you happy". Imagine yourself in happy places and situations. Relax, enjoy life, and "be here now". Do what you love and enjoy as much as you can, and also find ways to enjoy things that might be a little less pleasant. The more you focus on happiness, the more you will find that negative things - even people - change, fall away and leave your life for good.
Regardless of what goes on around you, know that you - and you alone - are always in charge of your thoughts, feelings and actions. Let go of the past: it no longer exists. Never mind the future: it hasn't happened yet. All that exists is this moment. So be here now - and choose happiness. You'll find that miraculous things will happen in your life!
Autor:
Robin BhattacharyyaRobin Bhattacharyya is an entrepreneur, writer, webmaster, self-improvement and empowerment facilitator and all-around "student and teacher of life" based in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. His website, Creating-Life-Abundance.com, is a "must" for anyone looking to improve their lives and the lives of others.
Check out Robin's new e-book, "Your Passion Point", available here!
Click here to learn how your thoughts and emotions create your life experience.
Added: February 17, 2009
Source:
http://ezinearticles.com/